小学生英语幽默故事(超全版_中英双语).doc

1、 小学生英语故事 英文 幽默故事： There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? Thats so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Beca

2、use I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. Thats why hes so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about

3、 the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I dont know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him The Boss.” 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板：为什么这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉

4、来说太贵了！老板说：因为我有训练他讲话。顾客又问：那这只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？老板说：他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。顾客接着又问：那第三只呢？他会做什么？为 什么要卖这么贵？老板说：我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！不过另外两只叫他：老板！ Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says

5、. “Then,” Mother asks. “Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isnt it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子： “吉姆， 如果你有 10 块糖，吃了 4 块，那你还有几块糖？ ” “10块。 ”吉姆说。 “10块？ ”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为 4 块在我的肚子里面， 6 块在肚子外面， 4 加 6 等于 10，不对吗？ ” Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make

6、a sentence with the word “egg“? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg“? Student:In the cake,Sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？ 老师：你能用 “鸡蛋 ”一词造句吗？学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师： “鸡蛋 ”在哪？学生：在蛋糕里，先生 Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time

7、for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him

8、, “Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.” 汤姆是个小孩， 他才 7 岁。 当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。 几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。 一个女的问她， “你为什么要买那么多票啊 ? 你见到了几个朋友？ “

9、“没有， 我里面没朋友， 但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了 “ Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him. Man:He is really somebody.What does do? Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery 他真是一个大人物 小孩：我叔叔下面有 1000 个人。 男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的？ 小孩：墓地守墓人。 Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of c

10、ourse. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. 一名伟人 老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？ 学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到 400 多岁。 Mr. Smith: Waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup. Waiter: Yes, sir, I know-its the heat that kills it. 史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇 服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的 Son: Dad, give me a

11、dime. Father: Son, dont you think youre getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess youre right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。 父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了 (该自立了 )，不是吗？ 儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？ A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Someti

12、mes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when theyre eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expen

13、sive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I dont know, son. Im still paying.” 有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的同学。八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：爸爸，结婚很花钱吗？爸爸说：是啊，儿子，非常花钱。儿子又问：要花多少钱呢？爸爸说：我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊！ “Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infect

14、ed?“ “No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it.“ “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？ ” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。 ” “Im sorry ， Madam ， but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .

15、” “Twenty d ollars! Why ， I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes， but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取 20 美元。 ” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要 4 美元。 ” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大 叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。 ” TWO： Teacher： We

16、 all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now， can anyone give me a good example? John： Well ， in the summer the days are long， and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例 子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for n

17、early two hours. then he started again, and said he:“Let me ask the evolutionist a question - if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?“ “Ill venture an answer, “ said an old lady. “We have worn them off sitting here so long.“. 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了： “让我向进化论者提个问题 如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到

18、哪里去了？ ” “我来试试看， ”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。 ” A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, “I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to ea

19、t.“ Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, “I cannot go to the rich mans house today, for I cannot get over the river.“ He began to go home. He had ea

20、ten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说： “我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。 ”然后他拿起苹果，

21、一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说： “今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。 ” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。 A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?“ “I gave it to a poor old woman,“ he answere

22、d. “Youre a good boy,“ said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?“ “She is the one who sells the candy.“ 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？ ” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆， ”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子， ”妈妈骄傲地说。 “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？ ” “她是个卖糖果的。 ” Drunk One day, a father an

23、d his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, “Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad?“ “Well, my son,“ his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four

24、then I am drunk.“ “But, dad,“ the boy said, “ theres only ONE policeman!“ 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道： “爸爸， 醉 字是什么意思？ ” “唔，孩子， ”父亲回答说， “你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。 ” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说， “那儿只有一个警察呀！ ” Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went

25、 to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: “I didnt have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.“ “Thats fine,“ r

26、oared the boss, “but where were you Monday and Tuesday?“ 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说： “我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。 ” “好啊 !”老板吼道， “那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？ ” 普通英语故事 Story 1 I Dont Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?

27、” his mother asks. “I dont like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 故事 1 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天， 他回到家，他妈妈问他： “你喜欢你的新老师吗？ ” “不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说 3 加 3 等于 6，然后她又说 2 加 4 等于 6.” Story 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you

28、 have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Then,” Mother asks. “Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isnt it right?” 故事 2 十块糖 妈妈问儿子： “吉姆， 如果你有 10 块糖，吃了 4 块，那你还有几块糖？ ” “10块。 ”吉姆说。 “10块？ ”妈妈

29、问。 “是的，妈妈。因为 4 块在我的肚子里面， 6 块在肚子外面， 4 加 6 等于 10，不对吗？ ” Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning Its a right. John is looking at the sky. Tom is Johns younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “Im counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “Its really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow mornin

30、g?” 故事 3 明天早上数 这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。 汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰： “你在干什么？ ” 约翰说： “我在数星星。 ” 汤姆笑着说： “现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢？ ” Story 4 Are Flies Yummy? Tony and his father are eating dinner. Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?” Dad frowns and says, “No, I think its yucky. Why do you ask me this questio

31、n? Its a silly question.” But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.” 故事 4 苍蝇好吃吗 ？ 托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。 突然，托尼问他的爸爸： “爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗？ ” 爸爸皱眉说： “我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题？这可是一个愚蠢的问题。 ” 可是托尼说： “刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。 ” Story 5 I Dont Want to Walk Home Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he g

32、oes to bed at seven oclock. But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Toms wife, “The old man couldnt find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.” After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But t

33、onight you cant find the way, whats the matter?” The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldnt find my way? I didnt want to walk home.” 故事 5 我不想走回家 汤姆是一位老人，他喜欢在晚饭后到大街上散步，在 7 点回来睡觉。 但是，今天晚上一辆小汽车停在他家门前，汤姆在一位警察的帮助下走下汽车。警察告诉汤姆的妻子： “这位老人在街上迷路了，他让我用汽车送他回来。 ” 警察走后： “汤姆，你每天都到那条街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了？ ” 这

34、位老人像孩子般的笑道： “我迷路了？我是不想走路回家。 ” Story 6 It Must Be Crowded A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.” And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when its a crescent moon.” 故事 6 一定很拥挤 一位告诉学生： “月亮非常大，上面能住几百人。 ” 一个男孩笑着说： “当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥

35、挤啊！ ” Story 7 Its Good to Admit a Fault John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily. “What? Whats wrong?” John is awaken. “Why do you make a face? Its classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says. “No one is laughing.” Teac

36、her says. “No, its not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset. “Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it. 故事 7 认错 约翰并不是个 “好 ”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。 “约翰！ ”老师生气地喊他。 “什么？出什么事了？ ”约翰醒了。 “你为什么要做鬼脸？这是教室！看看！同学们都在笑！ ”老师生气地说。 “没有人在

37、笑呀。 ”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。 “不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。 ”约翰感到不安。 “嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子 ”老师为此感到满意。 Story 8 Adding Feet to a Snake One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake

38、. If you finish first, you can get it. Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, Ive finished. Im No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isnt a snake. Snakes ha

39、ve no feet. I get the wine.” 故事 8 画蛇添足 一天， 狮子先生举行一场聚会，许多动物都来了，他们喝很多酒。最后只剩一壶酒了。让谁喝呢？它们想了想，有个主意。它们比赛画蛇，谁最快画好，谁就喝这壶酒。 不一会，狼先生画好了。 “哈，我画好了，我是第一个。 ”它说。可是它又画了起来，它还说： “再给它加几只脚吧。 ”这是猩猩先生也画好了。它拿起那酒壶喝起来。一边喝一边说： “那不是蛇，蛇是没有脚的，我赢了这壶酒。 ” Story 9 Covering Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell Mr. Wang thinks he is cleve

40、r, but he always does foolish things. One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.” The

41、n he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily. 故事 9 掩耳盗铃 王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。 一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。 “啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。 ”他自言自语道： “我该怎么做呢？ ”过了一会儿他想到了一个 “好 ”主意。 “啊哈！我有办法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。 ” 于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气

42、冲冲地说：“你在干什么？ ” Story 10 Adding Eyes to a Dragon Mr. Li is a good painter. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes. Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isnt a good picture.” But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.” Mr. Zhou

43、shakes head and says, “You are boasting. I dont believe you.” Mr. Li isnt angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies. 故事 10 画龙点睛 李先生是位很好的画家。一天画了一条栩栩如生的龙，但是这只龙没有眼睛。 周先生见了说： “这条龙没有眼睛。这不算一张好画。 ” 可是李先生笑着说： “如果我给它加上眼睛，它就会飞走了。 ” 周先生摇头说： “你吹牛。我不相信。 ” 李先生也不生气，只是

44、拿起笔给龙点上眼睛。哇！龙真的飞走了。 Story 11 Lord Yes Love of the Dragon There is a young man, Lord Ye. He likes dragons vey much. He draws many dragons in his house. The house becomes a world of dragon. A red dragon hears of Lord Ye, and is deeply moved. He wants to visit Lord Ye and makes a friend with him. “Hi,

45、Mr. Ye! Nice to meet you,” the real dragon comes to visit Mr. Ye runs away as fast he can. “Oh, my God! Help! Help!” he runs and shouts.” 故事 11 叶公好龙 有个年轻人，姓叶，非常喜欢龙 .他在屋里里面了许多许多龙。这屋子都快成了龙的世界。 一龙真龙听说了叶公的事，很受感动，就想去拜访叶公，和他交个朋友。 “嘿。叶先生！很高兴见到你。 ”这条真龙拜访叶先生了。可是叶先生飞快地逃了。忒边跑边喊： “啊，我的天啊！救命！救命！ ” Story 12 I Mad

46、e Granny Glad A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” she says“Did you make someone else glad?” “Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.” “Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says. “My granny.” The boy says. “Good boy. No

47、w tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says. “I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, Granny, Im going home. And she said, “well. Im glad!” 故事 12 我让奶奶高兴了 一位教师正在对学生将使人高兴的重要性。 “听着，孩子们， ”他说： “你们曾让别人高兴过吗？ ” “我，老师， ”一个男孩子说， “昨天我就使别人高兴过。 ”

48、“做得好。是谁呢？ ”老师说。 “我奶奶。 ”小男孩说。 “好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的？ ”老师问道。 “是这样的，老师。昨天我去看她，在她那儿呆了 3 个小时。然后我对她说： “奶奶，我要回家了。 ”她说： “啊，我很高兴。 ” Story 13 Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well There is a frog. He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well. He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.

49、 One day a crow comes to the well. He sees the frog and says, “Frog, lets have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says. The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. How do you fly from the sky?” The crow says, “The sky is very big. You always stay in the well, so you dont know the world is big.” The frog says, “I dont believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”