1、第二章 美国总统就职演说汉译,第一节 第二节,Original 21:,Among the vicissitudes incident to life no event could have filled me with greater anxieties than that of which the notification was transmitted by your order, and received on the 14th day of the present month. On the one hand, I was summoned by my country, whose
2、voice I can never hear but with veneration and love, from a retreat which I had chosen with the fondest predilection, and in my flattering hopes, with an immutable decision, as the asylum of my declining years a retreat which was rendered every day more necessary as well as more dear to me by the ad
3、dition of habit to inclination, and of frequent interruption in my health to the gradual waste committed on it by time. （George Washington, The Experiment of the American People）,1) Analysis of the original:,A) Grammatical analysis B) Stylistic analysis C) Background knowledge,A) Grammatical analysi
4、s:,(1) Sentence structure (2) Additional complication (3) Notes (4) Paraphrase,(1) Sentence structure：,The selection consists of two sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and a subordinate clause serving as the object of the preposition of; and the second is
5、also a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause, with a parenthetic clause embedded in the predicate and another attributive clause embedded in the appositive nominal phrase at the end of the sentence.,(2) Additional complication,The first sentence begins with a preposit
6、ional phrase. The second sentence also begins with a prepositional phrase, and as mentioned before, it has a parenthetic attributive clause embedded in the predicate and an appositive phrase placed at the end of the sentence with another attributive clause embedded. In the first line of the first se
7、ntence, incident to life is an adjective phrase modifying vicissitudes, and vicissitude and event are synonyms. In the second line of the first sentence, that of whichmeans the event of which.,(3) Notes：,The backbone structure of the second sentence is I was summoned by my country from a treat-a ret
8、reat. The backbone structure of a retreat which I had chosen with the fondest predilection, and in my flattering hopes, with an immutable decision, as the asylum of my declining years is a retreat I had chosen as. Also in the second sentence, a retreat which was rendered is appositive to a retreat b
9、efore it. And by the addition of habit to inclination, and of frequent interruption in my health to the gradual waste committed on it by time could be made explicit as by addition of habit to inclination, and by addition of frequent interruption in my health to the gradual waste committed on it by t
10、ime.,(4) Paraphrase：,The above paragraph could be paraphrased in the following manner: Among the events that happened to life, no event could have filled me with greater anxieties than the event in which you sent the notification and I received it on the 14th day of the present month. On the one han
11、d, I was called on by my country from a retreat which I had chosen as the asylum of my declining years. I had chosen the retreat with fondest predilection, and in my flattering hopes, with an unchangeable decision. The retreat was rendered every day more necessary and dearer to me because of my habi
12、t and inclination, and because of the frequent interruption in my health and the gradual waste committed on it by time. However, my countrys voice I always hear with veneration and love.,B) Stylistic analysis:,(1) Periodicity (2) Structural complication (3) Parallel structure (4) Cohesive device (5)
13、 Structural and lexical formality,(1) Periodicity：,The two sentences in the selection are both periodic in that they each begin with a prepositional phrase, and the second sentence has a parenthetic attributive clause embedded in the predicate.,(2) Structural complication：,The main clause of the fir
14、st sentence is in active voice but the subordinate clause it contains is passive, and so is the second sentence. Besides, the second sentence is much longer and much more complicated structurally than the first. As revealed in the grammatical analysis, the two sentences are structurally complicated
15、both at sentential and phrasal levels.,(3) Parallel structure：,Parallel structures are frequently used, for example, transmitted and received; veneration and love; with the fondest predilection and with an immutable decision; more necessary as well as more dear; the addition of habit to inclination,
16、 and of frequent interruption in my health to the gradual waste, and others.,(4) Cohesive device：,In terms of cohesive device, examples can be cited as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; repetition, synonymy, substitution, ellipsis and so on are popularly employed, for instance, vicis
17、situde and event; veneration and love; predilection and inclination; declining years, interruption in health and gradual waste, are examples of synonyms or near synonyms; transmit and receive are antonyms; retreat is repeated; habit before of frequent interruption is omitted; that in the second line
18、 is used to substitute for anxiety, etc.,(6) Structural and lexical formality：,Structurally, the selection is formal in that the two sentences are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, the selection is formal in that formal words and nominalizations are frequently em
19、ployed, for example, vicissitude, incident, notification, transmit, receive, summon, veneration, predilection, immutable, to name only a few.,C) Background knowledge:,(1) The present selection and the two ones that follow are from the inauguration by George Washington, the first president of the Uni
20、ted States; (2) George Washington (1732-1799) served as the first president of the United States (1789-1797). During the colonial time, he was a Virginian landowner and was a leader of the opposition to British colonial policy. With the break of the War of American Independence, he was appointed in
21、1787 commander in chief of the Continental army. With the victory in 1783, he presided over the council to draft in 1787 the U. S. constitution and was unanimously elected president.,2) Staged translation:,A) Translation 1 with comments B) Translation 2 with comments C) Translation 3 with comments,A
22、) Translation 1:,在所有的发生在生活中的事件中，没有哪一件事更使我充满焦虑不安的了，那就是，您送达给我的通知，我于本月14日收到。一方面，我被国家召唤，国家的声音我从来都是带着崇敬和挚爱来聆听的。国家要我从退隐中出来，而退隐我是带着酷爱来选择的。我也正奢望，选择退隐是我的无法更改的决定。我将退隐作为我每况愈下的岁月的一个庇护之所。我既有习惯也有偏爱，身体时好时歹，由于时间的缘故，身体也越来越没用了。因此，退隐对我越来越必要，越来越珍贵。,Comments:,We have produced a word-for-word translation, which, if we ar
23、e not too strict, is not problematic in terms of readability and authenticity. In the translation, readjustments are made. For example, 发生在生活中的is fronted; 那就是is inserted; 您送达给我的通知，我于本月14日收到is changed from passive voice to active voice to suit the new context; 国家要我从退隐中出来is reworded; and我既有习惯也有偏爱，身体时好
24、时歹，由于时间的缘故，身体也越来越没用了and因此，退隐对我越来越必要，越来越珍贵are swapped in terms of their positions, and so on. However, ideas could be better organized, expressions could be more authentic and formality could be further reinforced.,B) Translation 2:,在生活中发生的所有事件当中，没有哪一件事比您送来通知我于本月14日收到更使我焦虑不安的了。一方面，国家召唤我不要退隐，对于国家的声音我总
25、是带着崇敬和挚爱来聆听的。我是以酷爱之情选择退隐的，我也正在奢望，退隐是一项不可更改的决定。我将退隐作为我迟暮之年的安身之所。习惯又加偏爱，身体时有不适，岁月更不饶人。退隐于我，日渐必须，倍觉珍贵。,Comments:,The translation is much improved on the previous with the choice of such authentic and parallel expressions as习惯又加偏爱，身体时有不适，岁月更不饶人。退隐于我，日渐必须，倍觉珍贵, and with the newly worded expressions such
26、as在生活中发生的所有事件当中; 没有哪一件事比您送来通知我于本月14日收到更使我焦虑不安的了; 国家召唤我不要退隐and so on. However, some ideas are not sufficiently well-organized as they ought to be, especially those in the middle part of the translation.,C) Translation 3:,足下送达了通知，我于本月14日收悉。我虽阅历颇丰，然此事颇使我揣揣不安。一方面，国家呼我出山，国家的呼唤我始终崇敬有加，挚爱至深。然则，我孜孜以求于退隐，也曾奢
27、望，决心一下，难以更改。因为，我心存奢望以退隐安度晚年。习惯更添爱好，身体每况愈下，岁月亦不饶人。退隐于我，日渐需要，弥足珍贵。,Comments:,In the translation of the first sentence, ideas in the original are reorganized with the transposition of足下送达了通知，我于本月14日收悉to the very beginning and the treatment of such transpositions as 事件and 一件事in what follows. In this way
28、, the parts in question are coherently organized. Moreover, the translation of the second sentence is characterized not only by the reorganization of the ideas but also by breaking up the structures of the original, in line with Chinese norms, of course. For example, 决心一下，难以更改is substituted for the
29、previous; 因为is inserted. In this way, better coherence is obtained. In conclusion, the present translation is much more readable, coherent and authentic, though in some cases, irrespective of the original.,Original 22:,On the other hand, the magnitude and difficulty of the trust to which the voice o
30、f my country called me, being sufficient to awaken in the wisest and most experienced of her citizens a distrustful scrutiny into his qualifications, could not but overwhelm with despondence one who, inheriting inferior endowments from nature and unpracticed in the duties of civil administration, ou
31、ght to be peculiarly conscious of his own deficiencies.,1) Analysis of the original:,A) Grammatical analysis B) Stylistic analysis,A) Grammatical analysis:,(1) Sentence structure (2) Additional complication (3) Notes (4) Paraphrase,(1) Sentence structure：,The selection consists of a single sentence
32、only, which is complex in structure, composed of a main clause and two attributive clauses, one in the subject and the other in the predicate.,(2) Additional complication：,The sentence begins with a prepositional phrase, and in the main clause, there is a parenthetic structure embedded while in the
33、attributive clause embedded in the predicate, there is another parenthetic structure embedded.,(3) Notes：,In understanding, the subordinate and parenthetic structures could be put aside momentarily and then the backbone structure of the sentence would be the magnitude and difficulty of the trustcoul
34、d only overwhelm one; and the backbone structure of who, inheriting inferior endowments from nature and unpracticed in the duties of civil administration, ought to be peculiarly conscious of his own deficiencies would be who, ought to be.,(4) Paraphrase：,The above paragraph contains only a single co
35、mplex sentence with an extremely complicated structure. From the above analysis, this single sentence paragraph can be paraphrased as follows: On the other hand, the magnitude and difficulty of the trust to which the voice of my country called me are sufficient to awaken a distrustful scrutiny into
36、the trustees qualifications in the wisest and most experienced of her citizens. The magnitude and difficulty of the trust could only overwhelm one who ought to be peculiarly conscious of his own deficiencies if he inherits inferior endowments from nature and unpracticed in the duties of civil admini
37、stration.,B) Stylistic analysis:,(1) Periodicity (2) Structural complication (3) Parallel structure (4) Cohesive device (5) Structural and lexical formality,(1) Periodicity：,The single sentence the selection contains is periodic in structure, beginning with a prepositional phrase, and having two pre
38、sent participle phrases embedded in different locations as parentheses.,(2) Structural complication：,The complex structure, the additional complication, the periodicity and the fact that the sentence is broken by the embedding of the two attributive clauses in different parts of the main body of the
39、 sentence all contribute significantly to the structural complication.,(3) Parallel structure：,In the selection, parallel structures are popularly employed, for example, magnitude and difficulty; the wisest and most experienced; inheriting inferior endowments from nature and unpracticed in the dutie
40、s of civil administration.,(4) Cohesive device：,In terms of cohesive device, examples can be cited as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; her is used to stand for my country; his is used to stand for who, the undertaker of the trust, and so on.,(5) Structural and lexical formality：,Str
41、ucturally, the selection is formal in that the sentence is grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, the selection is formal in that formal words and nominalizations are frequently employed, for example, magnitude, difficulty, sufficient, awaken, experienced, citizen, di
42、strustful, scrutiny, qualification, overwhelm, despondence and many others.,2) Staged translation:,A) Translation 1 with comments B) Translation 2 with comments C) Translation 3 with comments,A) Translation 1:,另一方面，委托的规模和困难，我的国家的声音召唤我至委托处，足能唤醒这个国家的最聪明、最有经验的公民不信任地审视他的资格，足能压倒信心不大的人。这个人，生来天资比较差，在治理公民事务
43、的种种职责中又没有什么经历，尤其应该感到自身的不足。,Comments:,The translation, consisting of three sentences instead of one, could be regarded as word for word, or clause for clause if we are a little bit particular. Although such phrases as of my country, a distrustful scrutiny into his qualifications, with despondence, fr
44、om nature, in the duties of civil administration, etc. are duly fronted in the translation, and信任的规模和困难is properly repeated; the second clause in the first sentence of the translation is not properly positioned, and the coherence between the second and the third sentence is not made sufficiently exp
45、licit.,B) Translation 2:,另一方面，我的国家召唤我并委以重任，这项重任的规模和困难足以唤醒国民中最聪明、最富有经验的人用挑剔的眼光来审视承担者的资格，足能使人失去信心。一个人天分不高，又没有行政经验，应该特别感到自身的不足。,Comments:,The translation of the first sentence is much improved by transpositioning or fronting我的国家召唤我并委以重任and by using这项任务的规模和困难只能使人失去信心in the second sentence. However, the
46、structure and wording selected for the translation have yet left much to be desired, especially those concerned with the second sentence translation.,C) Translation 3:,另一方面，国家委我以重任。任务之重，困难之巨，足以使国之智者、长者心生疑窦。受任者如天分不高，政资浅薄，当此大任，尤感力不从心，只能望而却步。,Comments:,In this translation, the two sentences are reorgan
47、ized, irrespective of the structure of the original to some extent, by granting independent status for国家委我以重任; using the new pattern 任务之重，困难之巨，足以使; and changing the last sentence into受任者如天分不高，政资浅薄，当此大任，尤感力不从心，只能望而却步, a sentence full of parallel structures. Consequently, the readability, coherence and authenticity are all reinforced, and the present version sounds more like a piece of Chinese writing than like a translation.,
